Watching Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David are discussing Larry’s diet. Jerry says, “I don’t understand how there’s nothing you can eat.”
Larry says, “People are disturbed by it. My ex-wife hated it. I think that’s one of the reasons our marriage ended.”
“She couldn’t take the way you eat.”
“You know, I stopped drinking coffee. And she hated it. I said, what do you care? I had tea in the cup. She said, we can’t even share coffee in the morning anymore. I said, but there’s something in my cup! You can’t see what’s in my cup. I’m still sipping it, there’s still steam coming out of it. What’s the difference?”
Jerry responds, “I know. I ordered soup the other day. Someone said, that’s all you’re gonna get? …What the hell do you care?”
Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David may joke about this and leave it at that, but I’ve been taught that if something bothers me, to look it straight in the eye and confront it. Don’t just shrug it off as a conditioned issue, claiming it is only problematic under certain circumstances. Because, thing is, if it bothers you, then it is a legitimate issue.
In this case, you can ask yourself, would you be annoyed as the person in Larry’s role, Larry’s ex-wife’s role, Jerry’s role, or as the person watching Jerry order soup? Whichever role or roles cause irritation or discomfort are worth thinking about. Why do you feel uncomfortable in that role, in that situation? What kind of changes to the situation would erase that discomfort? Questions like these can lead us to discover a wrong view, to undo the permanent view that we hold to be true. Once we can undo that wrong view, drinking coffee, tea, or nothing at all in a social situation can be done without feeling like it is an issue.
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