At this year’s KPY USA retreat, Phra Anan had the attendees play a quick game. You can do this at home, too:
Take a piece of paper, divide it into four sections. For section 1, write “A > B“at the top. Section 2 is labeled “A<B,” section 3 is “A=B,” and section 4 is “A not = B“. Under each section, write:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
You are allowed 30 seconds to complete each section. You only need to write down a word or short phrase (so don’t spend time writing a detailed explanation!) for each item on list.
Now, pick your topic. It can be any two things that are often compared, such as being a person who is short vs. tall, and start the clock. Here’s a brief example:
Section 1: How is being short better than being tall?
1. Legs curl up more comfortably in a crowded car
2. Easy to find clothes in Thailand
Section 2: How is being tall better than being short?
1. Get to sit shotgun because long legs
2. Easy to find clothes in USA
Section 3: How is being short or tall the same?
1. Both have legs
2. Both wear clothes
Section 4: How is being short or tall different?
1. Legs are different lengths
2. Clothes are different sizes
Typically, our bias will be revealed when we are able to quickly produce the list for A>B but draw a complete blank for A<B. This is because we tend to think one is definitely preferable over the other. This game helps us locate these biases and balance them out by seeing both the positives and negatives of each side. We must be able to see both how A>B and A<B in order to develop the right perception and walk the middle path.
As for A=B, this section establishes relevance. In order to determine A>B or A<B there must be a common ground that enables the argument to make sense. As for A not = B, this clarifies why the argument is actually irrelevant, and why it doesn’t make sense to compare A to B in the first place. Section 4 establishes the pointlessness of this argument, or any argument we get into, really. If we realized that we were talking about different points, we wouldn’t carry on arguing.
You can use this exercise to root out and correct your biases. You can also play this game whenever you need help making a decision, are feeling stuck in practice, or whenever you feel like expanding your creativity in thought. Another useful application is to keep this game in the back of your mind as you have conversations with others. Is what you want to add to the conversation aligned with the point of the conversation? Are you interrupting because you are missing the point? What is the point?
For example, a father told his friend that his daughter was exceptional because she learned to play many instruments very quickly and skillfully. The friend said that’s because the all the notes are the same. The father argued that the notes weren’t the same because one instrument had keys, another was a plucked string instrument, another was a percussion string instrument, another was a string instrument but used a bow, etc. At one point, the argument began to get loud and aggressive.
Who was wrong? The father was arguing that how the notes are played is different on each instrument, while the friend was arguing that notes (do-re-mi) are the same across instruments. They could’ve each argued for days and they wouldn’t have reached consensus because although they were both talking about instruments and notes, they were arguing different points. If they had realized that how and instrument’s notes are played and the actual notes for instruments are two separate topics, there wouldn’t have been an argument to being with.
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