Just like when we zoom out on Google maps, we can go from a street view of a specific address, to the neighboring streets, to the neighborhood in general, to the city, to the county, to the state, to the country, and to the continent. How can viewing a city help solve a problem going on at a specific address?
As a detail oriented person, one of the most difficult things to do has been to let go of the details and zoom out. I spent two years struggling to understand what Mae Yo meant by, “let go of the details and you will be able to solve the problem.” Let go? But the problem was in the details, wasn’t it?
When I’m drowning in the details I can’t see the patterns, I can’t see the exit signs. Everything is one of a kind when I’m looking at details. But when I take a step back, I can see the way my own problems were solved, or how others handled similar issues.
One time, my mom’s friend gave a moment’s notice that she had just bought a plane ticket and would stay with us for a week or so. My mom told me, “No matter how hard it is, keep smiling and do your best. It will be over soon, but if you do something ugly, that will last.” I managed to do a good job until I returned her rental car (that’s for another blog), when all the individual frustrations accumulated during her visit unraveled. In the end, one emotion-fueled deed cancelled out all the points I had accumulated over the week.
Another time, a friend was visiting from Alaska and wanted to get some Korean Bibambap for dinner. The place I liked was out of the way, I didn’t want to make the drive. There were un-tested restaurants on the way home that were open. So I picked one with good reviews. We ordered 7 dishes for the two of us, the food sucked, and they didn’t even have Bibambap on the menu. I had made the wrong decision.
Then we had a group of friends visit from Texas. They wanted to get Dim Sum in Chinatown, from a restaurant President Obama had visited when he was in SF. I typically avoid driving around Chinatown because of the chaotic traffic and parking. And good dim sum can be found right by our house, at Koi Palace.
When you look at the details, it doesn’t make sense to go to Chinatown. But when I zoomed out and looked up “guests visiting” in my files, I saw that I had messed up in the past because I was focused on the details. More often than not, I had been a good host, doing everything right until that one selfish act in the end.
So, I decided not to fight it. We went to Chinatown. You know what? I’m so glad that I came to that decision. Because even if the Dim Sum at Koi Palace was superior to the Obama place, it wouldn’t be delicious because it’s not what our guests wanted. They weren’t eating the Dim Sum for the food, but for the bragging rights. They were so ecstatic just to be at the Obama place, and I was ecstatic that I had made the right decision.
Most recently, we have a young boy staying with us. We took him to Big 5 to buy soccer cleats because they were having a World Cup sale. We showed him which shoes were on sale, and he didn’t care for any of them. He ended up selecting the most expensive pair they had. My first instinct was that his choice wasn’t practical. Soccer camp was only for one week and he had other soccer cleats back at his home. But then I zoomed out.
From past experience, focusing on the specifics of the situation and being “practical” (giving the most weight to time, gas, traffic, actual usage, etc) didn’t always produce the best results. When you want something specific, sometimes substitutes just don’t cut it. And really, it doesn’t get much easier than having someone tell you what will make them happy, and you being able to give that to them. When you can but don’t give them what they want and the results suck, you are solely to blame for that decision. If they get what they want and the results suck, well hey, that’s no longer going to rest squarely on your shoulders. You probably couldn’t have done better. So yeah, as counter-intuitive as I used to think it was, letting go of the details and zooming out can help solve specific problems.
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