Often, we follow examples or rules without really knowing the reasons behind them. Then when we fail to comply, we end up stressing out because we believe we’ve done something wrong. I believe a better way to deal is to ask “why” as opposed to following blindly.
For instance, I once sealed a stamped envelope, opened it, and tried to reseal it, only to realize it looked like it had been tampered with. To provide extra security, I stapled the bottom of the envelope flap to the envelope and the letter inside. That way, the contents could only be seen when the staple was removed, and there would be holes where the staple had been. I sent it, and since then, whenever that recipient mails me a letter, it has a staple on it, but not attached to the contents. I can easily open the envelope and view the contents without touching the staple. So what is the point of that staple, I wonder? Not security.
Another example is how after seeing my mom clean, people often want to help out. However, instead of noticing how she typically uses different towels for the countertops, the greasy stove, and the floor, people will just use a single towel on everything. When the towel used for wiping the grease is used on the countertops and the floor, the result is grease being spread all around. It really isn’t so much cleaning as it is dirtying the kitchen at that point.
In Thailand, fragrant garlands are usually offered to monks or places of worship. The first time I held one, I instantly brought it up to my nose and inhaled deeply. And then I was promptly reprimanded. I thought being prohibited from smelling the garland was ridiculous, especially because the purpose of the garlands is to smell good. And although everyone around me could tell me they’d also been taught that you aren’t allowed to smell garlands, no one could tell me why.
Turns out, you’re not supposed to smell garlands, eat the food, or have used other items being offered to monks and places of worship. There is nothing meaningful about the act of smelling, eating, or using, but there is significance in consuming something and giving your leftovers to a teacher, or someone you respect. It may result in your disrespecting them, or someone who sees you doing it disrespecting the teacher. Consequently, it may become difficult for you to learn from the monk or teacher. Sure, not every student-teacher relationship may be affected in this manner. Although individual cases can always differ, the rule was likely instated to safeguard the majority of people from unknowingly disrespecting their superiors and missing out on the lessons they could’ve taken more seriously.
Then there’s the rule about not washing your hair after giving birth, brushing your teeth twice a day, or even monks being prohibited from drinking milk after 12pm. I am sure you can come up with many more examples and rules that we follow without understanding the original purpose. It is so important to understand the reasons before doing something. Without understanding the purpose, you can end up with doubt and guilt whenever you break the rules. It is this guilt that, in dhamma terms, we call bahb, or demerit. It is this guilt that clouds our minds and pulls us to a dark existence after we die. And why carry around extra guilt, when you could’ve easily avoided it by simply asking “why?”
No Comments