Do unto others as you would like done unto you. This is so true, but sometimes we overlook the fact that both the negative and positive things that we do will come back to us.
For example, a friend of mine was obsessed with a colleague’s constantly acting as the exception, standing out because of her refusal to be accountable to the rules that were set forth and that all others adhered to. She answered to no one but herself, and would bite if anyone questioned her reasoning. It dawned on me that my friend didn’t have to do or say a single thing- everything would be resolved on its own.
He wasn’t the boss or in an authoritative position, and he couldn’t get through to her because of a grand obstruction in the form of an old grudge. But she would get what was coming to her. There are no secrets in this world. Those who wonder about the integrity of her actions and lose their respect for her, or the boss who will eventually observe or catch wind of her defiant actions will react to her actions and isolate her. She wanted to stand out and be different. And she will stand out- but not as someone noble or respectful- no, she will stand out as the one person who resisted the efforts of the group by citing an excuse, not an accurate reason…. as the outsider and only one who wasn’t a team player. If she acted like she was better than the group, the group would eventually leave her behind. If she was too good for the group, then she would be invited to please go somewhere else. So in a way, she would get what she wanted. She wanted to stand out, so she will be isolated.
That’s why when we do unto others in a certain way, whether it’s good or bad, it’s like training others to treat us the way we treated them. It’s telling them that I’m ok with this. If I call to yell at you when I’m upset, that means that I expect that it’s reasonable for others to yell in a situation like this- so when you’re angry at me, you will likely think that I may expect yelling. When we act like we’re too good to share the room with someone, that person will perceive that and will react by not wanting to have anything to do with us either (which is how we treated them to begin with).
Although we believe we’re going to do positive things so we receive only positive things, we also commit negative acts (while thinking we’re right) because we possess a mix of both wrong and right viewpoints. And our resulting actions are a mix or + and – as well. And as such, people will treat us accordingly. That’s why we are treated both + and -. Once we change our perspectives and align our understandings with the truth (and not our opinions), I have a strong feeling that we will be treated a lot better…..but that’s because we will treat others better.
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