A different lifeguard is on duty at each morning lap swim. One morning, I noticed a new lifeguard. She looked young, was wearing a bright red “LIFEGUARD” t-shirt, and greeted us with a friendly smile. The bright yellow signs for FAST MEDIUM SLOW were standing attention at their respective lane. And she walked around the pool every couple of minutes or so, as was a part of her lifeguard responsibilities.
Thing was, she did everything right by the book. But it seemed weird, like overkill, because none of the other lifeguards did those things. They all wore regular t-shirts, didn’t put up the signs, and usually just sat in their chairs until someone requested help with the chair lift or sauna. The pool had its regulars- most of them were over 60 and swam suuuuper slowly. If they obeyed the posted lap swim rules and the speed signs the new lifeguard put up, they would all have to cram into the slow lane. Regardless of the new lifeguard’s actions, everyone just went on as they normally did. New arrivals just swam in empty lanes or paired up according to whichever lanes had the fewest people in them. As far as I could tell, no one cared about obeying the signs.
Seeing this lifeguard doing everything by the rules and regulations made me see how ridiclous I must look. I’m the type that loves rules and believes everyone should abide by them. They give us much needed direction and structure. I think it would be great if fast people swam together and slow people swam together. In fact, it would be totally ideal if we all shuffled lanes after someone left or arrived, reorganizing so that the speed signs would always be accurate.
To the majority of people in this world, who go with the flow, I must look like I have OCD. I have to clean and reorganize a workspace before starting work. I enjoy making labels for things, even if they’re obvious. I must ask for the instructions and all possible scenarios before doing something. People have laughed at me, and I laughed right back at them, believing that if they weren’t so busy being a total mess they would learn to value how a few seconds of organization can make work flow more smoothly.
But after seeing the lifeguard, seeing how being serious at all times can be such a waste of time and effort, I’m seriously considering that maybe I need an intervention. Where am I taking my roles too seriously, too literally? Am I missing the point? I mean, the benefits I assumed were there, are they even significant in the scheme of things? Does having many different colored pens matter when most of the world just uses blue and black ink? (In fact, the bank told me to stop using orange and pink to write checks and stick to blue or black because it scans more clearly). Is it really better to put the dishes and pots in the drying rack in the same way, every time (in between each metal slot, starting with the ones closest to edge and working out), even when it is only two plates? Because I do that regardless of what I’ve just washed. It’s a lot for someone like me to think about. I know! I’ll write it out in my 2014 journal. With my pink pen, of course.
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